My girlfriend’s mom said at family dinner,”Honey, you’re settling. Look at your sister, she married a doctor.” My GF nodded and said,”I know, but he’ll do for now.”
I just smiled, finished my meal, and never came back. Last week, her sister’s doctor husband left her for his nurse. I’m Jake, 29, and I just witnessed the most spectacular example of karma delivering a five-star performance.
Took about 6 months, but man, was it worth the wait. Been dating Nicole for 14 months. She’s 27, works as a dental hygienist, pretty girl, but comes with the full package of family baggage.
We’d been getting serious, staying over at each other’s places most weekends, talking about moving in together, the whole relationship progression thing. Her mom, Carol, is one of those people who peaked in high school and never got over it.
Her older sister, Jessica, married a cardiologist named Dr. Richard 3 years ago, and Carol has never let anyone forget it. Every family gathering was the Dr. Richard show. Carol would find ways to work him into every conversation, like he was some kind of medical deity walking among us mortals.
Richard says the economy is heading for trouble. Richard thinks we should refinance the house. Richard bought Jessica the most beautiful necklace for their anniversary.
Meanwhile, I’m a project manager for a construction company, make decent money, own my house, drive a reliable truck. Nothing flashy, but I’m not exactly struggling either. But next to Dr. Richard’s BMW and surgeon salary, apparently I might as well be asking for spare change.
Nicole usually just rolled her eyes at her mom’s doctor worship and changed the subject when we talked about it privately. I figured she was trying to keep family peace while building something real with me. Last month, Carol invited us for Sunday dinner.
These family dinners were basically weekly worship services for Dr. Richard’s greatness. Jessica would sit there glowing while Carol listed his latest achievements and Nicole would smile politely while I mentally planned escape routes. This particular Sunday, Carol was in rare form.
Dr. Richard had just gotten some kind of promotion at the hospital and Carol was practically vibrating with excitement. Jessica, you’re so lucky to have found a man with such ambition, such dedication to his career. Jessica preened like a cat in sunlight.
Richard works so hard, 60 hours a week minimum, but that’s what success requires. Carol turned to Nicole with that disappointed mom look perfected by mothers everywhere. Honey, you’re settling.
Look at your sister. She married a doctor, a real professional. Nicole shifted uncomfortably.
Mom, Jake has a good job. I’m sure he does, dear, but there’s good jobs and then there’s careers, real careers that make a difference. I kept eating my pot roast wondering if Carol had ever actually met a doctor outside of her son-in-law.
Pretty sure they’re just regular people who went to school longer, but what do I know? Then Nicole delivered the line that ended our relationship. I know, Mom, but he’ll do for now.
She said it like she was discussing a temporary car rental. The table went quiet. Jessica smirked.
Carol nodded approvingly like Nicole had finally shown some sense. I took another bite of pot roast, chewed slowly, and smiled. This is really good pot roast, Carol.
Your best yet. Carol beamed. Thank you, Jake.
It’s my grandmother’s recipe. I finished every bite on my plate, complimented the dessert, thanked Carol for dinner, and gave Nicole a kiss on the cheek. Thanks for a lovely evening.
Drove home, blocked Nicole’s number, packed up everything she’d left at my place, and never spoke to her again. Update one, Nicole started calling that night from different numbers. I didn’t answer any of them.
The next morning, I dropped off a box of her stuff at her apartment building lobby with the doorman. Her spare key to my place was in there, too. Tuesday evening, she was waiting by my truck when I got off work.
Jake, what’s going on? You blocked my number and returned my stuff. Hey, Nicole.
How’s it going? How’s it going? I’ve been trying to reach you since Sunday.
Yeah, I figured you might want to focus on finding someone better than temporary. Her face went pale. Jake, that’s not I didn’t mean it like that.
How did you mean it, then? I was just trying to get Mom off my back. You know how she is about Jessica and Richard.
So, you decided to handle family pressure by announcing I was a placeholder. That’s not what I said. You said I’d do for now.
That’s literally the definition of a placeholder. Jake, please. Can we go somewhere and talk about this properly?
We are talking. I’m telling you that someone who thinks I’ll do for now probably shouldn’t waste time with me when they could be shopping for upgrades. You’re being ridiculous.
I’m being realistic. You want someone better than me, go find them. She tried to grab my arm.
Jake, I don’t want anyone else. You wanted someone else Sunday night. What changed?
She didn’t have an answer for that. I got in my truck and drove home. Over the next week, I blocked four different numbers she tried calling from.
Amazing how many friends will lend you their phone for relationship drama. Update two. Two weeks later, I was having lunch at the sandwich place near my office when Jessica walked in.
She looked around, spotted me, and came over like she’d been searching. Jake, we need to talk. Do we?
Nicole is a mess. You’re being unreasonable. How’s Dr. Richard doing?
Don’t change the subject. Nicole made a mistake. Nicole told your family I was temporary.
What’s the mistake there? She was under pressure. Mom was doing her usual comparison thing.
So, she threw me under the bus to make Mommy happy. She didn’t throw you under anything. Jessica, she told your mom I’d do for now while I was sitting right there.
How is that not throwing me under the bus? Jessica looked uncomfortable. Look, Nicole really cares about you.
Nicole really cares about having a boyfriend, whether it’s me or someone more impressive seems negotiable. You’re being dramatic. I’m being honest, something your family could try sometime.
What’s that supposed to mean? Nothing, Jessica. Give my regards to your husband.
She left looking frustrated. A week later, Carol ambushed me at the grocery store. I was picking up milk when she appeared in the dairy aisle like some kind of relationship intervention fairy.
Jake, I’m glad I ran into you. Mrs. Patterson, how are you? I’m concerned about Nicole.
She’s been miserable since your fight. We didn’t fight. She told you I’d do for now.
I took her at her word. That was just family conversation. Surely you understand how these things work.
I understand that your daughter told you she was settling for me. Pretty clear communication there. Jake, you’re a lovely young man, but you’re being very stubborn.
Carol, if someone tells their mom they’re dating you temporarily while you’re sitting there, what would you do? I’d try to understand the context. The context was your daughter getting your approval by putting me down.
Mission accomplished. She didn’t mean it. She meant it enough to say it at your dinner table while looking you in the eye.
Carol huffed and walked away. I finished my grocery shopping in peace. Update three.
Four months went by. I started dating again, met a teacher named Sarah who thinks my job is interesting instead of embarrassing. We’ve been seeing each other for about 6 weeks when my buddy Mark called with news.
Dude, remember your ex’s sister, the doctor’s wife? Jessica. What about her?
Her marriage is falling apart. I nearly choked on my coffee. What happened?
Caught him cheating. Apparently, it’s been going on for months. With who?
One of the nurses at his hospital. Classic doctor affair, right? How’d she find out?
The nurse’s boyfriend found their messages and sent screenshots to Jessica. Guess he got tired of being the other other person in this mess. I sat there processing this.
The golden couple that Carol worshipped, the standard Nicole was supposed to aspire to, had just imploded. Is this confirmed or just gossip? My girlfriend’s friend works with Jessica.
It’s real. Jessica’s been staying with friends because she can’t handle being around her parents right now. The irony was beautiful.
Gets better, Mark continued. Apparently, Dr. Perfect has some expensive habits that Jessica didn’t know about. She’s talking to lawyers about protecting what’s left of their assets.
2 weeks later, Mark called with the update. Your ex’s sister is officially getting divorced. It’s getting messy.
How messy? Richard’s been living beyond their means. Fancy car payments, expensive trips, keeping up appearances.
They’re not as wealthy as everyone thought. What about Nicole? She’s been asking my girlfriend about you.
Whether you’re dating anyone, if you seem happy. What does your girlfriend tell her? That you’re doing great and you’ve moved on.
Update four. Last month, Nicole finally made her move. She showed up at my house on Saturday morning with coffee and bagels, looking like she’d been rehearsing the speech for weeks.
Jake, please. Just give me 10 minutes. Nicole, what are you doing here?
I brought breakfast. Those bagels you like from Miller’s. I can buy my own bagels.
I know. I just I’ve had 4 months to think about what happened. And and I realized I made the biggest mistake of my life.
I leaned against my doorframe. Which mistake was that? Saying what I said at dinner.
Letting my mom’s pressure make me say something horrible about you. You said something honest to get family approval. It wasn’t honest.
I’ve never thought you were temporary. You said I’d do for now, Nicole, in front of your entire family. How was that not honest?
Because I was panicking. Mom was doing her usual Jessica and Richard show and I said something stupid to make it stop. So you threw me under the bus.
I hurt the person I care about most because I was too weak to stand up to my mom. She started tearing up. Jake, I’ve spent 4 months realizing what I lost.
You were the best thing in my life and I destroyed it for my mother’s approval. Nicole, the best thing in your life wouldn’t be someone you think will do for now. I don’t think that.
I never thought that. You said it. I said something horrible when I was cornered.
You said something revealing when you thought it was safe. She wiped her eyes. What about Jessica and Richard?
You must have heard what happened. I heard. Doesn’t that change anything?
Doesn’t that prove mom’s precious doctor wasn’t so perfect? Nicole, I never needed Dr. Richard to fail to know I was worth something. The fact that you did tells me everything.
That’s not fair. Life’s not fair. Sometimes people you think are temporary decide you’re not worth their time.
Jake, please. I love you. No, you love the idea of me now that your family’s golden standard crashed and burned.
That’s not true. Nicole, you spent 14 months with me and still thought you could do better. Richard’s problems don’t change that.
She stood there crying with her peace offering, and I felt bad for her, but not bad enough to pretend like words don’t matter.”I know I don’t deserve another chance,” she whispered.”You’re right, you don’t.” I closed the door. Final update: It’s been 6 weeks since Nicole’s bagel ambush.
Haven’t heard from her since, which suggests the message finally got through. Jessica’s divorce finalized last month. Turns out Dr. Richard wasn’t just cheating.
He’d been spending money they didn’t have on his lifestyle and his affair. Jessica ended up with their house, but it’s mortgaged to the hilt. She moved back in with Carol temporarily while she figures out her finances.
Carol’s been suspiciously quiet about relationship advice lately. Funny how having your golden example of marriage explode tends to humble people. Nicole apparently learned some lessons about family pressure, too.
Mark heard through his girlfriend that Nicole told Carol to stop commenting on her dating life entirely. The best part? Jessica’s been asking friends if they know any normal guys with steady jobs.
Apparently, her standards have been recalibrated by reality. Some people think I should have given Nicole another chance since she apologized. But here’s the thing: She only apologized after her family’s backup plan fell apart.
She spent 4 months telling mutual friends I was being dramatic instead of admitting she was wrong. She didn’t want me back because she realized my value. She wanted me back because watching her sister’s marriage implode scared her into settling for what she’d already thrown away.
Sarah and I are doing great. She’s never once compared me to anyone else’s boyfriend or suggested I’m temporary. When her friends ask about me, she talks about how I make her laugh, not what I do for work.
Revolutionary concept, apparently. Nicole wanted someone better than me. Hope she finds him.
But she’ll have to find him without using me as a placeholder while she shops around. As for Dr. Richard, last I heard he’s renting a room from another divorced doctor and taking the bus to work. Turns out Carol’s gold standard was just a guy with student loans and poor impulse control.
Sometimes karma doesn’t need any help. It just needs time to work. Thanks for following along.
The best revenge really is living well while other people’s house of cards falls down on its own.
